A guy asked me out today and I told him “no”, but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?
For our first date, I wanted to take her to a romantic Italian restaurant in Canggu, Bali called La Baracca.
I was so pumped for the date, I didn’t think twice about telling her to MEET ME at the restaurant.
BUT…. here’s the problem
Alina wanted me to PICK HER UP
If YOU were HER, take a second to think how YOU would get someone to pick you up.
Would you say:
“hey, can you pick me up instead?”
Or how about:
“nevermind, the date is off.” (because deep down you want them to try harder and come pick you up)
Here’s what Alina said:
“Actually, for a young Canggu lady, it’s not safe to go alone in the evening.”
What do you think I did?
I didn’t feel bad about not offering to pick her up.
I was even more attracted to her and wanted to do better because I overlooked this but she didn’t make me “pay for it”.
My point is this.
Men want to be the knight in shining armor.
But sometimes we need a little help figuring out how to do that.
This is where women come in.
Alina did something I think most women can learn from.
She didn’t tell me what to do.
Girls don’t want to date a robot.
But she also didn’t make me feel bad or make me feel she wasn’t interested.
She left me enough clues so I could figure out what she wanted without telling me directly.
The beginning of dating is so fun because it’s filled with suspense, a bit of awkwardness and excitement.
Most men have to pump themselves up to ask a girl out
Their fear is getting rejected.
Even playful “no” is dangerous until you’ve broken the ice a bit.
LET MEN BE THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR
How do you do that?
Do what Alina did.
- Think About What You Want
- Find A Way To Show Him What You Want AND letting him think it was his idea
- Have Fun / Keep It Flirty
Using Alina’s example, here is one thing you could have said to make him try harder:
If he is not putting in enough effort, I’m going to assume he asked you out before putting more effort into getting to know you OR he asked you on a lazy date idea like getting coffee.
This works for BOTH scenarios because he will keep trying to ask you out and will change the date idea.
“Actually, for a young lady it’s not safe to go to a coffeeshop with someone I barely know. 😉 “