A guy asked me out today and I told him “no”, but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?

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A guy asked me out today and I told him “no”, but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?


For our first date, I wanted to take her to a romantic Italian restaurant in Canggu, Bali called La Baracca.

I was so pumped for the date, I didn’t think twice about telling her to MEET ME at the restaurant.

BUT…. here’s the problem

Alina wanted me to PICK HER UP

If YOU were HER, take a second to think how YOU would get someone to pick you up.

Would you say:

“hey, can you pick me up instead?”

Or how about:

“nevermind, the date is off.” (because deep down you want them to try harder and come pick you up)

Here’s what Alina said:

“Actually, for a young Canggu lady, it’s not safe to go alone in the evening.”

What do you think I did?

I didn’t feel bad about not offering to pick her up.

I was even more attracted to her and wanted to do better because I overlooked this but she didn’t make me “pay for it”.

My point is this.

Men want to be the knight in shining armor.

But sometimes we need a little help figuring out how to do that.

This is where women come in.

Alina did something I think most women can learn from.

She didn’t tell me what to do.

Girls don’t want to date a robot.

But she also didn’t make me feel bad or make me feel she wasn’t interested.

She left me enough clues so I could figure out what she wanted without telling me directly.

The beginning of dating is so fun because it’s filled with suspense, a bit of awkwardness and excitement.

Most men have to pump themselves up to ask a girl out

Their fear is getting rejected.

Even playful “no” is dangerous until you’ve broken the ice a bit.


How do you do that?

Do what Alina did.

  • Think About What You Want
  • Find A Way To Show Him What You Want AND letting him think it was his idea
  • Have Fun / Keep It Flirty

Using Alina’s example, here is one thing you could have said to make him try harder:

If he is not putting in enough effort, I’m going to assume he asked you out before putting more effort into getting to know you OR he asked you on a lazy date idea like getting coffee.

This works for BOTH scenarios because he will keep trying to ask you out and will change the date idea.

“Actually, for a young lady it’s not safe to go to a coffeeshop with someone I barely know. 😉 “


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2 thoughts on “A guy asked me out today and I told him “no”, but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn’t he try again?

  • May 25, 2020 at 2:56 am

    I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your site?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures.

    Maybe you could space it out better?

    • June 3, 2020 at 1:53 pm



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